The $2,300 Squirrel: Why an Uncapped Chimney Is a Living Room Hazard

Frank and I have a fireplace in our living room that we rarely light. For starters, it’s remarkably shallow, which means it isn't much of a heat source on crisp autumn or cold winter nights. For all practical purposes, it serves a purely decorative function—and we’re generally fine with that. What we weren't prepared for, however, was its sudden conversion into a high-rise maternity ward for local wildlife.

Last winter, a squirrel decided our unused chimney stack was the premier neighborhood real estate for nest-building. I discovered this development when one of them successfully navigated the flue and ended up loose inside our house. Now, under the absolute best of circumstances, I dislike squirrels intensely. They chew through roof soffits, aggressively taunt our dog, Rhys, and as it turns out, turn into absolute wrecking balls when trapped indoors.

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It is difficult to properly quantify the sheer destruction a single squirrel can cause overnight. While Frank and I were fast asleep, the little invader smashed several pieces of art glass on the mantle, knocked down framed paintings, and completely shredded the window screens in the sunroom trying to claw its way out. It took Rhys and me nearly an hour of frantic chasing to corner the creature, and let’s just say it did not survive to see another sunrise.

Every bit of that chaos—and the loss of our art glass—could have been avoided with a basic, functioning chimney cap. We knew the old cap needed replacement, but it simply hadn't made it to the top of our priority list; coaxing our ancient furnace through another Pennsylvania winter took precedent. But with the intruder dealt with, I was left facing a bizarre dilemma: how do you safely remove a live squirrel nest from inside a masonry chimney?

My first call was to a local chimney repair company, but they flatly refused to touch anything containing an active nest and advised me to call an exterminator. I called one, only to be quoted an eye-watering $2,300 to trap the remaining squirrels and remove the nesting material. Given that I had zero interest in humanely relocating pests that had just trashed my living room, spending over two grand was out of the question.

Instead, I took matters into my own hands—literally. I cut down a sheet of plywood, boarded up the fireplace opening, and for the remainder of the winter, Frank and I got to admire a raw piece of wood in the middle of our living room every single day.

A bit of research revealed that squirrels only occupy nests during their two annual breeding cycles: late winter and late summer. Armed with that timeline, I played the long game. I waited until May, when I knew the family had naturally vacated, and then called a standard chimney sweep. They cleared out the abandoned nest and installed a heavy-duty stainless steel mesh cap without issue.

The final bill? $800 for the chimney sweep and cap, saving us $1,500 over the exterminator's quote. That is what I call smart money.

If there is a takeaway here for anyone with an infrequently used fireplace, it's this: inspect your chimney cap today. A simple wire mesh guard is all that stands between your quiet living room and a frantic, destructive pest. And if you think a single squirrel can wreak havoc on your mantle and screens, just imagine what a raccoon would do.

Synthetic Cedar Shake vs. Standing Seam Metal: Choosing Our Roof Alternative

Now that Frank and I have officially ruled out spending a small fortune to re-roof our house in authentic cedar shakes—and ruled out basic asphalt shingles because they just won't do the house justice—we’ve narrowed our final choices down to two main contenders: Synthetic (Composite) Cedar Shake and Standing Seam Metal.

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Both options solve our biggest head-shaking problem: the damp, perpetually shaded north slope of our house that currently looks like a mossy forest floor. Neither option rots, neither absorbs moisture, and both are built to last for decades.

So, how do we choose between them? Here is how synthetic shake and standing seam metal stack up head-to-head for our home.

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Synthetic Cedar Shake

Synthetic shakes are made from high-density polymers or recycled rubber/plastic composites engineered to mirror the thick texture, split grain, and heavy shadow lines of natural wood.

The Pros:

• Architectural Authenticity: From the street, high-end synthetic shake is virtually indistinguishable from real wood. It preserves the exact historical texture and character our house was designed to have.
• Impervious to Moisture & Organics: Unlike natural cedar, synthetic materials don't absorb water. Moss, lichen, and ferns can't root into polymer, making it ideal for our damp, shaded back roof.
• High Impact & Fire Resistance: Most synthetic shake systems carry a Class A fire rating and Class 4 impact rating (the highest available for hail).
• Color Stability: Modern composites use UV inhibitors, so the color won't fade or weather unevenly between our sun-drenched south side and shaded north side.

The Cons:

• Material & Installation Cost: Because it is a specialty product requiring precise installation techniques and specialized accessories (ridge caps, starter courses), labor and materials remain near the top end of the market.
• Complex Roof Line Labor: On roofs with multiple dormers, valleys, or steep pitches, trimming and fitting synthetic tiles requires significant time.

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Standing Seam Metal

Standing seam metal roofing features broad, flat metal panels with vertical legs connected by concealed fasteners. The seams are raised above the roof surface, allowing water and debris to run off effortlessly.

The Pros:

• Superior Shedding Ability: The smooth surface and vertical panels mean pine needles, leaves, snow, and rain slide off instantly. Moss simply has nowhere to anchor itself.
• Extreme Longevity: A quality standing seam roof (Kynar 500-coated steel or aluminum) can easily last 50+ years with virtually zero maintenance.
• Slightly Better Upfront Price: Depending on the gauge and coating, standing seam metal often comes in slightly below the total installed price of top-tier synthetic cedar shake.
• Concealed Fasteners: Unlike corrugated metal roofs with exposed screws, standing seam conceals all fasteners beneath the seams, eliminating common leak points over time.

The Cons:

• Aesthetic Shift: Standing seam gives a crisp, modern, or upscale modern-farmhouse look. Depending on the architecture of the house, it can feel like a departure from traditional wood-textured character.
• Acoustics During Rain: While solid roof decking and attic insulation muffle sound significantly, heavy rainfall can produce a faint tapping sound compared to thick composite tiles.
• Shedding Hazards: Because metal sheds snow and ice so efficiently, heavy slides off the north roof can impact ground landscaping unless snow guards are installed.

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Why We Would Choose One Over the Other

When it comes down to the final decision for our roof, here is how Frank and I view the tipping points:

We would choose Synthetic Cedar Shake if... preserving the original architectural aesthetic and classic warmth of cedar is our absolute top priority. If we want visitors (and ourselves) to pull into the driveway and see a rich, textured wood-look roof without ever worrying about moss rot again, synthetic is the clear winner.

We would choose Standing Seam Metal if... we want the absolute lowest-maintenance, slickest water-and-debris shedding machine possible for that shaded back slope, combined with a sleek contrast and a slightly lower overall quote.

Both options give us a permanent fix to our moss ecosystem, but deciding between classic rustic character and clean-lined metal durability is where the final call lies.

The Cedar Shake Dilemma: Finding an Alternative That Won’t Break the Bank

The previous owners of our house seriously over-invested in this property. One of their most notable splurges was installing a real cedar shake roof. Fast forward to today, and that roof is approaching the end of its useful lifespan.

Part of the issue comes down to geography and design: our home sits on a strict north-south orientation. While the front half gets plenty of sun and still looks reasonably fine, the back half remains perpetually shaded. Because it never gets enough direct sunlight to properly dry out, the back of our house currently looks like a scene straight out of a David Attenborough documentary—replete with moss, lichen, and actual ferns thriving on the shingles. While it certainly creates a charming, storybook ecosystem, it’s a total disaster for the lifespan of wood shakes.

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A few years ago, we got a quote to replace the entire roof with new cedar shakes, and it came in at around $75,000. Mind you, that was four or five years ago, long before building material prices skyrocketed. Spending that kind of money on a roof simply wasn't in the cards then, and it certainly isn't now.

However, we really prefer not to put traditional asphalt shingles on this house—it just wouldn't suit the architectural character. But as I’ve dug deeper into non-asphalt options, a frustrating pattern has emerged: almost every premium alternative is clustered in a similar higher-tier price bracket.

Here is how the main non-asphalt roof replacement options stack up given the state of building materials today:

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1. Synthetic / Composite Cedar Shake

Relative Price: High (Moderate to High relative to real cedar; roughly 10%–20% lower than raw cedar shakes, but comparable overall when factoring in low long-term maintenance).

The Reality: Modern synthetic shakes (made from engineered polymers or rubber composites) closely mirror the texture and shadow lines of natural wood. Unlike real wood, they are entirely immune to moss, rot, and moisture absorption—making them ideal for a heavily shaded north-facing roof. While material and specialized labor costs remain steep, you save significantly on ongoing maintenance and sealants over time.

2. Standing Seam Metal

Relative Price: Moderate–High (Generally 15%–25% less expensive than real cedar shakes, depending on gauge and metal type).

The Reality: Standing seam metal is one of the most durable premium choices available. Concealed fasteners and vertical interlocking panels provide exceptional water resistance and easily shed moisture, preventing moss from taking root. While it carries a substantial upfront cost compared to basic asphalt, it sits on the lower end of the high-end specialty market.

3. Stamped / Flat Metal Shingles or Panels

Relative Price: Moderate (Slightly lower than standing seam metal, typically 20%–30% less than real cedar shakes).

The Reality: Formed metal tiles or flat panels designed to mimic slate, tile, or traditional shingle patterns offer a clean look with strong weather performance. They reflect heat well and handle damp, shaded conditions without degrading. They provide a high-end metal appearance at a slightly more accessible price point than custom-fitted standing seam systems.

4. Natural Cedar Shake Replacement

Relative Price: Very High (The baseline benchmark for high-end wood roofs).

The Reality: Re-roofing in authentic cedar shake is an expensive proposition today due to timber costs, pressure-treating requirements, and skilled labor. On a house with shaded moisture traps, natural cedar will inevitably face the exact same deterioration issues down the road unless treated and cleaned every couple of years.

5. Ceramic, Clay, or Concrete Tile

Relative Price: Extreme (Frequently 10%–35% higher than real cedar shake).

The Reality: Clay and ceramic tiles offer timeless beauty and extreme longevity, but they carry a severe weight penalty. Beyond the exorbitant material and specialized installation costs, most homes not originally engineered for tile require structural roof reinforcement, driving total project costs even higher.

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Finding a middle ground between aesthetic appeal and practical durability is tricky when dealing with a heavily shaded roof line, but modern composite and metal systems prove that you don't have to compromise on style to get a long-lasting, moss-resistant roof.

Maintaining a Pennsylvania Bluestone Patio

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Frank and I live in an older home that was made significantly larger by the previous owners, and every single day we find ourselves thanking them for their extravagance. They really, really over-invested in this property in the most wonderful way possible. While it’s easy to notice grand additions inside the house, nowhere is their lavish taste and open-checkbook approach more evident than right outside our back door.

Stretching across the rear of the house is a massive, multi-tiered Pennsylvania Bluestone patio that boggles the mind. Measuring roughly 1,800 square feet, it spans three distinct levels connected by two sets of broad stone stairs, with a handsome cedar pergola anchoring the center. Rather than dry-laying the stone over gravel, the previous owners did things the hard way: they poured a massive concrete slab first, setting the bluestone in a rich mortar bed with clean, half-inch joints. The stones are laid in a beautiful random pattern, creating a seamless blend of natural color variations that range from deep steel blue to subtle earthy rust.

I cannot even begin to imagine what a hardscape build of this scale and material quality would cost in today's market. Mercifully, I don't have to wonder, because it’s already here—a permanent, breathtaking gift left behind for us to enjoy. It has become our favorite place to entertain, relax, and appreciate the outdoors, serving as a true outdoor living room that feels like it was built to stand for centuries.

However, keeping an architectural feature of this magnitude looking spectacular takes deliberate care. Maintaining natural bluestone set in mortar over a solid concrete bed is a completely different proposition than maintaining a typical dry-laid paver or gravel patio, particularly here in Pennsylvania where winter freeze-thaw cycles test every joint and crevice. Finding reliable advice for this specific type of masonry construction isn't always easy, so here are ten essential points to keep a large mortared Bluestone patio in prime condition year after year.

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1. Prioritize Joint Integrity Above All Else
   On a mortared slab, cracked or failing mortar joints are your primary vulnerability. Water that seeps into micro-fissures in the half-inch joints will expand when it freezes, popping mortar loose and eventually breaking the bond between the Bluestone and the concrete bed below. Inspect all joints every autumn and repoint hairline cracks immediately with a compatible mortar.
2. Prevent Sub-Slab Water Entrapment
   Because the concrete slab beneath the stone forms an impermeable barrier, any water getting underneath the Bluestone cannot drain naturally into the soil. If water pools under the stone and freezes, it causes unit upheaval and dynamic stone spalling. Ensure perimeter drainage pathways, patio pitch, and area drains remain completely free of leaf litter and debris before winter sets in.
3. Avoid Sodium Chloride and Rock Salt
   Standard rock salt and calcium chloride ice melts penetrate the porous structure of natural Bluestone and mortared joints. As the liquid refreezes within the stone's microscopic pores, it creates intense hydraulic pressure (subflorescence) that causes the stone to flake, spall, and delaminate along its natural cleft lines.
4. Use Sand or Bluestone Screenings for Winter Traction
   For safe footing on stairs and upper levels, rely on coarse sand or fine Bluestone screenings instead of chemical de-icers. If a de-icer is strictly necessary for safety on steps, select a calcium magnesium acetate (CMA) product sparingly, but mechanical snow removal and sand remain the safest methods for stone longevity.
5. Choose the Right Snow Removal Tools
   Metal snow shovels and steel plow edges will gouge natural Bluestone and chip mortared joint edges. Use heavy-duty plastic or rubber-edged shovels. For snow blowers, adjust the skid shoes upward so the steel scraper bar never contacts the stone surface or step treads.
6. Manage Cleft Delamination
   Pennsylvania Bluestone is a natural sandstone split along natural bedding planes. Natural thermal expansion, moisture, and ice can cause thin sheets or flakes to lift along these clefts. Never force or pry lifting flakes off; allow them to release naturally, and sweep away loose debris to prevent ice from wedging under the lifted layers.
7. Apply a Vapor-Permeable (Penetrating) Sealer
   If choosing to seal the patio, use strictly a deep-penetrating, breathable silane/siloxane sealer rather than a film-forming acrylic coating. Film-forming sealers trap moisture underneath the stone, which turns white/cloudy and accelerates freeze-thaw damage from trapped water beneath the surface. A penetrating sealer repels liquid water while allowing water vapor to escape.
8. Treat Organic Stains and Algae Promptly
   Shaded tiers or areas under structures like pergolas can trap moisture and develop moss, algae, or leaf staining. Clean these areas each spring using a pH-neutral stone cleaner or a mild solution of oxygen bleach and water applied with a soft-bristle deck brush. Avoid acidic cleaners (like muriatic acid), which break down mortar matrix over time.
9. Use Safe Pressure-Washing Techniques
   If pressure washing in the spring, keep the pressure under 1,200 PSI and use a wide 25-degree or 40-degree spray tip held at least 12 to 18 inches from the surface. High pressure focused directly on half-inch mortar joints will blast out mortar and erode softer veins in the natural stone.
10. Inspect and Clean Anchor Points Around Structures
    Multi-tiered stone patios with anchored cedar pergolas create junction points where wood posts meet mortared stone. Ensure that post bases allow proper water shedding and that debris does not accumulate at the base of the cedar posts. Standing water or ice at post bases damages both the timber and the surrounding mortared joint ring.

Why We Lined Our 1965 Cast Iron Sewer Pipe (And Saved $63,000 in the Process)

Photo by David Marquez on Unsplash

If you live in a mid-century home, you know the exact blend of charm and architectural quirk I’m talking about. Frank and I live in a 1965 modified split-level that was remarkably forward-thinking for its day. Half of the house sits over a traditional cinderblock foundation and basement, while the other half was built directly on a concrete slab—a relatively novel construction method in Pennsylvania back in 1964.

Architecturally, it’s a great layout. Systemically? It created a ticking time bomb underneath our feet.

To reach the municipal sewer line out in the street, the original builder ran the main cast iron waste line straight under the slab. For decades, it did its job silently. But cast iron doesn't last forever. Over the years, our drains began running noticeably slower. We had the line scoped and roto-rooted regularly, and every single time the plumber pushed a camera down the pipe, the diagnosis got grimmer. The iron was degrading rapidly, rusting out from both the top and the bottom, flaking, and catching debris.

We knew a total failure was imminent, but the initial solution was a complete nightmare.

The $80,000 Jackhammer Nightmare

When we first began soliciting estimates to replace the pipe, every contractor told us the same thing: the only way out was to cut through the house. That meant wheeling a heavy jackhammer into our living space, tearing up a trench straight through the slab.

The path of destruction would have required ripping out the hardwood floors in our den, dismantling custom built-in cabinetry, gutting a bathroom and the laundry room, and finally busting open a massive section of the garage floor. The quotes for the excavation and pipe replacement alone came in around $80,000—and that didn't include a single penny to restore the hardwood, rebuild the cabinetry, or repair the concrete and tile.

We balked. We decided to wait, crossing our fingers and nursing the tired line along with careful maintenance.

The Trenchless Turning Point

I’m thoroughly glad we waited. Four years ago, as the gurgling drains began acting up with renewed urgency, I started researching alternatives and discovered cured-in-place pipe (CIPP) lining—specifically, flexible epoxy and urethane sleeve lining tailored for residential sub-slab runs.

Instead of destroying the home from the inside out, the process works by rehabilitating the existing pipe from small, existing access points:

• Mechanical Descaling: First, technicians send high-speed rotating chains and hydro-jetters through the line to scrub away decades of rust scale, tuberculation, and buildup, restoring the pipe back to its original inner diameter.
• Liner Insertion: A flexible fabric tube saturated with a heavy-duty resin (often backed with a durable polyurethane coat) is inverted or pulled directly through the degraded iron host pipe.
• Curing in Place: The lining is expanded using ambient air pressure or hot water/steam, forcing the resin-soaked tube tight against the interior walls of the old pipe. Once cured, it hardens into a smooth, jointless, structural pipe-within-a-pipe.

We pulled the trigger four years ago. The entire trenchless operation cost us $17,000. While certainly not small change, it was a fraction of the $80,000+ structural demolition alternative, and it left our den, built-ins, and floors completely untouched.

Four Years Later

Four years have passed since the lining was installed, and we haven't heard a single gurgle, slow drain, or backup since. The new liner carries a smooth surface that resists scale and friction far better than raw cast iron ever could.

If you own a 1960s slab-on-grade home and your plumber starts talking about jackhammers, take a breath and get a second opinion from a certified CIPP trenchless specialist first. Holding out for the right technology saved our home's original character—and tens of thousands of dollars.